Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
dream
i just woke up from a dream,JUST did.
In my dream my car was towed, but it wasn't supposed to be, there was no place to park so the person i was with parked it anyways . So i go inside the store we were in and ask one of the ugly employees if they had watched it get towed. and the bitch said yes. Then this mammoth of an old hag lady started yelling at me "you shouldn't have parked there" so i go fucking nuts, "excuse me?EXCUSE ME!" i didnt remember most of the dialog until i made fun of her being old, and dressing like an idiot, then she said butt hole and i said,"BUTT HOLE! , BUTT HOLE? I HOPE A LOT OF SHIT COMES OUT YOUR BUTT HOLE! A BUTT PLUG OF MAGGOTS COMES OUT YOUR BUTT HOLE! " everyone in the store was disgusted and i left the store laughing like an insane person.
i just had to write it down.
In my dream my car was towed, but it wasn't supposed to be, there was no place to park so the person i was with parked it anyways . So i go inside the store we were in and ask one of the ugly employees if they had watched it get towed. and the bitch said yes. Then this mammoth of an old hag lady started yelling at me "you shouldn't have parked there" so i go fucking nuts, "excuse me?EXCUSE ME!" i didnt remember most of the dialog until i made fun of her being old, and dressing like an idiot, then she said butt hole and i said,"BUTT HOLE! , BUTT HOLE? I HOPE A LOT OF SHIT COMES OUT YOUR BUTT HOLE! A BUTT PLUG OF MAGGOTS COMES OUT YOUR BUTT HOLE! " everyone in the store was disgusted and i left the store laughing like an insane person.
i just had to write it down.
Monday, October 20, 2008
everyday
sometimes i feel like no matter what choice i make it will always be the wrong choice.
Maybe is my punishment for being a weird child.
I really don't know.
All I know is that you have to deal with the consequences of anything you do.
I feel like sometimes things just get so wrong that there is no way to make them right, because every time you try to make it right, your just making it even more wrong.
I find myself in the same places sometimes asking the same questions, and you think that it would be easier to make choices that you have already made and already know the consequences.
But its harder.
of course.
everyday.
i feel like my choices are harder.
sometimes i think i should just let things be, since i rarely do that, and maybe, just maybe this time the outcome will be good, but i really feel it will all just blow up in my face (the dutch oven effect).
I have a hard time not having goals, and not thinking about whats next.
Thats just how i am and always will be.
I need organization and something stable to be able to rest my mind.
But the something stable is the hardest thing, because i guess i contradict myself there, because if i were to introduce a constant to my equation i will be safe there, but i will also be extremely bored and i cant handle that. I also need change so my boredom wont eat me alive.
I feel like as soon as i was done with school, all the personality traits i liked about myself were lost in the transition.
but a lot of bad traits too.
I just feel like the only thing i can ever say lately is "i dont know".
And for someone who needs to know to be happy this is not good.
i feel like i am going to either run far far away , or try to set up something stable.
because i cant just be in the middle i cant
i never have been in the middle.
Maybe is my punishment for being a weird child.
I really don't know.
All I know is that you have to deal with the consequences of anything you do.
I feel like sometimes things just get so wrong that there is no way to make them right, because every time you try to make it right, your just making it even more wrong.
I find myself in the same places sometimes asking the same questions, and you think that it would be easier to make choices that you have already made and already know the consequences.
But its harder.
of course.
everyday.
i feel like my choices are harder.
sometimes i think i should just let things be, since i rarely do that, and maybe, just maybe this time the outcome will be good, but i really feel it will all just blow up in my face (the dutch oven effect).
I have a hard time not having goals, and not thinking about whats next.
Thats just how i am and always will be.
I need organization and something stable to be able to rest my mind.
But the something stable is the hardest thing, because i guess i contradict myself there, because if i were to introduce a constant to my equation i will be safe there, but i will also be extremely bored and i cant handle that. I also need change so my boredom wont eat me alive.
I feel like as soon as i was done with school, all the personality traits i liked about myself were lost in the transition.
but a lot of bad traits too.
I just feel like the only thing i can ever say lately is "i dont know".
And for someone who needs to know to be happy this is not good.
i feel like i am going to either run far far away , or try to set up something stable.
because i cant just be in the middle i cant
i never have been in the middle.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
juan 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ton
haha.
Slept till 2 woke up.
guy fixed my oven.
i played on computer.
went to work, didnt have a mountain dew but was going nuts anyways.
Drew a picture from a picture on a book and was making the pictures look at each other and scream and greg told me to stop like i was in trouble or something, but i was laughing so hard i was crying, Adnan was lookin at me like i was fucking wacky. Then i threw paper at juan and kept saying " on a juan to ton scale" i didnt mean to make him mad. Juan is funny.
Then i played hangman with andrea and my phrase was " hamburgers and hotdogs too i want to have a bbq" it was pretty funny.
Now im back home.
I cut adams hair like a mullet, with short sideburns and all.
The other day i talked to one of my bestest friends ever, brian roys, hes pretty much one of the most interesting people anywhere. hes out traeling the world. he is a park ranger. thats really cool.he has 3 guns and some cool outfits.
josh was sick at work today:(
he had some nasty throat shit.
that made him sad, so i drew him a picture of me saying'get well' or die.
josh is a supervisor at work wh is funny hes nice topeople even if he hates them all .
AND he told me about this jem..
yep he knows what i like in a film hahaha.
Slept till 2 woke up.
guy fixed my oven.
i played on computer.
went to work, didnt have a mountain dew but was going nuts anyways.
Drew a picture from a picture on a book and was making the pictures look at each other and scream and greg told me to stop like i was in trouble or something, but i was laughing so hard i was crying, Adnan was lookin at me like i was fucking wacky. Then i threw paper at juan and kept saying " on a juan to ton scale" i didnt mean to make him mad. Juan is funny.
Then i played hangman with andrea and my phrase was " hamburgers and hotdogs too i want to have a bbq" it was pretty funny.
Now im back home.
I cut adams hair like a mullet, with short sideburns and all.
The other day i talked to one of my bestest friends ever, brian roys, hes pretty much one of the most interesting people anywhere. hes out traeling the world. he is a park ranger. thats really cool.he has 3 guns and some cool outfits.
josh was sick at work today:(
he had some nasty throat shit.
that made him sad, so i drew him a picture of me saying'get well' or die.
josh is a supervisor at work wh is funny hes nice topeople even if he hates them all .
AND he told me about this jem..
yep he knows what i like in a film hahaha.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
fall
seriously i love this weather.
i love fall.
i love how my living room looks with thi perfect amount of light at 6pm on a sunday afternoon
I also love that final destination 1 and 2 are on tnt, i havnt seen 3 yet, but maybe it will be on next. also idle hands is another fall favorite of mine.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
old personal fav
This is a picture i drew of myself eating my baby. I got the idea from watching the grizzly man which is a movie about this guy who lives in the wild with some bears, the bears go ape shit and one of the bears, named Melissa starts eating her babies, so this is me eating a baby. Oh and in the end of the movie one of the bears (maybe melissa bear, maybe not) eats the guy. opps..
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
song about old
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking a Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?
Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Not as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up...
Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
Now when she tells she's gonna get it
I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget i
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn't going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Was it a Mecca dabber or a betting pencil?
Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren't as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up
Oh, where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go? Woah.
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Started all the naughty nights with niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Everything was pretty in the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking in tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking a Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?
Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Not as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up...
Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
Now when she tells she's gonna get it
I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget i
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn't going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Was it a Mecca dabber or a betting pencil?
Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren't as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up
Oh, where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go? Woah.
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Started all the naughty nights with niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Everything was pretty in the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking in tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?
Why does my apartment smell like farts!?
Went to work.
All I had to eat so far today was 2 bites of fish and 2 pieces of fried mac and cheese from wing heaven.
I went to work and started to draw a picture for shauna , which i will post on here.
I basically drew that, then talked to my friend lindsay who im most likely going to move in with in a while about this sweet apartment, then Juan sat by me and i gave him the pic i drew for him last night. I left at ten because i was only scheduled till 10 and i was fucking starving so I went to Meijer and got some food. I also got these wacky tights, which I will als post a picture of. Oh and today I pulled out (thats what she said) some old favorites, my steel toe oxblood docs. Yeah. a picture for thoes too. Just full of pics today.
the docs
a pic i drew for adam
wacky tights
for shauna
and for juan
Yep.
So about living with my friend Lindsay. Shes been a friend for a long time now but we lost touch after grand Valley and now we work together at DIR. But anyhow it will be her,me and her friend iesha(I-E-SHA) and we all currently have boyfriends named adam, pretty odd, huh?
But the thing is I dont want to break my lease so I have to wait to move in, but they are getting the place soon, then whne i can move in I will move in. the place were looking at is on James st right by wealthy, walking distance to mean while, its $795 ALL UTILITIES included!!! yeah. it will be NICE! It has an f-ing fire place!! AND free laundry. Im pretty excited.
Seriously my apartment smells like farts real bad right now. and i dont feel like cleaning. I just cleaned the whole place on sat, like all fucking day and now it smells like farts, the sink is full of dishes, theres just random stuff all over, undies, socks, its nutz-o.
Im now watching Freddy got fingered again. Tom greens dad(in this movie) reminds me of my mom. The whole movie reminds me of growing up in my house. how i always wanted to eat fast food. and how i would do stupid shit all the time like make my belly button talk at the dinner table, or just do anything and my mom would go nuts about it. Its just funny. or how id laugh to myself about stuff i was thinking and my mom thought i was retarded. uh now that i live alone i can say honestly im not retarded but there definitely is a few screws loose. What im trying to say is I really am crazy. im surprised i can live on my own, and havent ended up in the hospital.
Tonight is the first night i feel tired at this time.
All I had to eat so far today was 2 bites of fish and 2 pieces of fried mac and cheese from wing heaven.
I went to work and started to draw a picture for shauna , which i will post on here.
I basically drew that, then talked to my friend lindsay who im most likely going to move in with in a while about this sweet apartment, then Juan sat by me and i gave him the pic i drew for him last night. I left at ten because i was only scheduled till 10 and i was fucking starving so I went to Meijer and got some food. I also got these wacky tights, which I will als post a picture of. Oh and today I pulled out (thats what she said) some old favorites, my steel toe oxblood docs. Yeah. a picture for thoes too. Just full of pics today.
the docs
a pic i drew for adam
wacky tights
for shauna
and for juanYep.
So about living with my friend Lindsay. Shes been a friend for a long time now but we lost touch after grand Valley and now we work together at DIR. But anyhow it will be her,me and her friend iesha(I-E-SHA) and we all currently have boyfriends named adam, pretty odd, huh?
But the thing is I dont want to break my lease so I have to wait to move in, but they are getting the place soon, then whne i can move in I will move in. the place were looking at is on James st right by wealthy, walking distance to mean while, its $795 ALL UTILITIES included!!! yeah. it will be NICE! It has an f-ing fire place!! AND free laundry. Im pretty excited.
Seriously my apartment smells like farts real bad right now. and i dont feel like cleaning. I just cleaned the whole place on sat, like all fucking day and now it smells like farts, the sink is full of dishes, theres just random stuff all over, undies, socks, its nutz-o.
Im now watching Freddy got fingered again. Tom greens dad(in this movie) reminds me of my mom. The whole movie reminds me of growing up in my house. how i always wanted to eat fast food. and how i would do stupid shit all the time like make my belly button talk at the dinner table, or just do anything and my mom would go nuts about it. Its just funny. or how id laugh to myself about stuff i was thinking and my mom thought i was retarded. uh now that i live alone i can say honestly im not retarded but there definitely is a few screws loose. What im trying to say is I really am crazy. im surprised i can live on my own, and havent ended up in the hospital.
Tonight is the first night i feel tired at this time.
I feel like I am just putting my life on pause.
Im just working a job that has nothing to do with hair so I can pay by bills and barely get by.
And I work 6-7 days a week, and cant even afford to buy some fucking groceries.
But I CANT COMPLAIN.
Thats just life.
Even if Im in a bad mood, at least I have a job, and an apartment, and most things I want, and a pretty great boy who buys me milkshakes or malts.
OH and some of the best fucking scumbags ever who can always make me laugh my ass off.
Anyhow.
I guess Im just feeling weird because my usual schedule is becoming very LAZY.
I wake up at about 2:30-3pm. I then sit on the couch. I maybe eat some food if its available. Then I shower, put on clothes and go to work. Drive to work from 4:30-5 and usually listen to my ipod but its broken AGAIN..So I have one cd to listen to that Adam made for me almost a year ago. Then I walk into DIR , push my way through a crowd of people some of which smell real stinky, then i find my desk and I set my stuff down , then i wander around for about 10 min . Then at about 510-515 i actually start dialing. Then i sit at my little desk drawing or writing. Take some surveys with people who can be rather idiotic. Loose faith in most humanity. I do that until 1155. Then I clock out. Drive home with same cd. Get home and I am hungry s I find the food that is in the cubbard like a can of pees, and i eat that. Then i stay up until 4am doing random stuff.
I guess I am just down because I sleep more than Im awake. I talk to idiots on the phone, more than my friends. And I am making NO progress in the hair industry, but cant realy do much about it because i need to get paid. At least I have done some hair on the side so i dont go insane.
Well its time to take that shower.
Im just working a job that has nothing to do with hair so I can pay by bills and barely get by.
And I work 6-7 days a week, and cant even afford to buy some fucking groceries.
But I CANT COMPLAIN.
Thats just life.
Even if Im in a bad mood, at least I have a job, and an apartment, and most things I want, and a pretty great boy who buys me milkshakes or malts.
OH and some of the best fucking scumbags ever who can always make me laugh my ass off.
Anyhow.
I guess Im just feeling weird because my usual schedule is becoming very LAZY.
I wake up at about 2:30-3pm. I then sit on the couch. I maybe eat some food if its available. Then I shower, put on clothes and go to work. Drive to work from 4:30-5 and usually listen to my ipod but its broken AGAIN..So I have one cd to listen to that Adam made for me almost a year ago. Then I walk into DIR , push my way through a crowd of people some of which smell real stinky, then i find my desk and I set my stuff down , then i wander around for about 10 min . Then at about 510-515 i actually start dialing. Then i sit at my little desk drawing or writing. Take some surveys with people who can be rather idiotic. Loose faith in most humanity. I do that until 1155. Then I clock out. Drive home with same cd. Get home and I am hungry s I find the food that is in the cubbard like a can of pees, and i eat that. Then i stay up until 4am doing random stuff.
I guess I am just down because I sleep more than Im awake. I talk to idiots on the phone, more than my friends. And I am making NO progress in the hair industry, but cant realy do much about it because i need to get paid. At least I have done some hair on the side so i dont go insane.
Well its time to take that shower.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
My First Blog
I now am the owner of a newborn blog.
Lets see.
I will maybe type about wacky stuff I do for about 2 weeks, forget I have it and never return to it, much like my first pet or child.
Or just write embarrassing stuff about adam.
Lets see.
Today I woke up at 2:40 pm.
Then i sat on my couch that was free and the middle cushion is always sunk in.
I picked up adam and ate tacos.
Went to work.
Adnan ( a kid at work) watched me completely fuck up at parking and not give a shit. It was pretty hilarious.
Kim said "girl that outfit is the shit" she always says she likes my outfit and my hair.
I wore a batman shirt and a purple striped tank under it, some black skinny jeans and yellow pointed flats.
Did survey with people in North Carolina.
Said the fuck word way too much.
Thought my tummy was going to explode,, or like there were worms digging through mud in there. I dont know.
Had some sharp abdominal pains and a few in my lower back.
Ate some nuts.
Came home.
tried to park for about 10 min.
Ate some microwaved left over fries from checkers. Its good for me.
Then I wanted to watch tv, but never did. Oh well.
I have been drawing a lot at work lately.
It helps pass time I guess.
Heres some pics I drew at work for my friend Scott. Hes a real artist. Im not but it was his birthday. So I made my efforts to show him I like him as a friend. For my b-day he drew me a SICK picture of flapjack and Knuckles. I should post that!
Lets see.
I will maybe type about wacky stuff I do for about 2 weeks, forget I have it and never return to it, much like my first pet or child.
Or just write embarrassing stuff about adam.
Lets see.
Today I woke up at 2:40 pm.
Then i sat on my couch that was free and the middle cushion is always sunk in.
I picked up adam and ate tacos.
Went to work.
Adnan ( a kid at work) watched me completely fuck up at parking and not give a shit. It was pretty hilarious.
Kim said "girl that outfit is the shit" she always says she likes my outfit and my hair.
I wore a batman shirt and a purple striped tank under it, some black skinny jeans and yellow pointed flats.
Did survey with people in North Carolina.
Said the fuck word way too much.
Thought my tummy was going to explode,, or like there were worms digging through mud in there. I dont know.
Had some sharp abdominal pains and a few in my lower back.
Ate some nuts.
Came home.
tried to park for about 10 min.
Ate some microwaved left over fries from checkers. Its good for me.
Then I wanted to watch tv, but never did. Oh well.
I have been drawing a lot at work lately.
It helps pass time I guess.
Heres some pics I drew at work for my friend Scott. Hes a real artist. Im not but it was his birthday. So I made my efforts to show him I like him as a friend. For my b-day he drew me a SICK picture of flapjack and Knuckles. I should post that!
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